Hey Reader,
This topic is crucial, and honestly, it took a lot of unlearning and courage to challenge my thought process over the years.
I want to dedicate this letter to all the men who have supported me in my endeavors, sharing the vulnerable stories, and helped me evolve as a human.
Let’s get started🚀
Manism
Man up!! | Don’t act like a girl | Boys Don’t Play with dolls | Are you a girl | Don’t be a cry baby | Man finish Last | You're so sensitive for a guy |
Sounds quite familiar. If you are a woman, you might be saying it to men around you, and if you are a man reading this, I bet you have said it time and again.
In the past 50 years, our society and gender roles have changed so dynamically, but our thought processes, the paradigms we carry have remained constant.
While feminism has caught up the pace, though we have a long way to go, my major concern is “how we can ensure equality when we need a drastic shift in the way society perceives men?”
Some points-
Anything perceived as "girly" is off-limit for men. In this way, boys are discouraged from freely exploring what they might truly like. This doesn't change as they grow up, either. For example, while women are questioned for drinking "manly" drinks like whiskey, men are ridiculed for picking a poison that's not stereotypically masculine.
Also, vulnerability is often seen as not a manly thing. I am not typically talking about crying, but there are other forms, like wanting to be hugged, having someone to talk to, accepting that they are tired, or sometimes complaining about frivolous things.
Men are raped too. There are plenty of stories around us, and they find it hard to speak about it. Many people won’t even believe that something like this could happen.
Men or women, both face the wrath of a broken ideal society.
Physical appearances and tags - the worst part. NO one is spared by it.
Another Angle: Women are shamed for their sexuality. Men are encouraged to do the shaming.
"Don't be a slut."
"No guy wants to have sex with a virgin."
The above lines explain how contradictory a man’s life is 🤷♂️, encouraging the shaming.
Men didn't make these contradictory rules up themselves. Other men and perhaps even other women have passed down such notions for generations. Men are even judged by similar standards to women in this regard, with people commonly asking a man, "You're still a virgin?"
There's the notion that men should feel entitled to whatever they want sexually, perhaps to mitigate the perception that they're virginal and therefore weak.
Who the F**K made these rules? 😠
Teaching Manism is as important as propagating feminism.
It’s not about superiority.
We need to understand that manism is as important as feminism. Both terms should empower each other. Being a feminist is not about women's rights. It’s about making them feel powerful and nothing less or incapable of.
Manism is about creating a safe space for men and not defining them in the typical societal norms like feminism.
Caution: I am not using Masculinist.
It’s not about who is superior. Some people take feminism in the wrong way without knowing the struggle women had till now. Others don’t understand how to teach a man about women.
The ultimate goal is to make each other feel encouraged, to experience equal opportunities, and to express themselves freely maintaining the moral code of conduct.
You and I together have to make this possible. Challenge the beliefs at your home first. Understand where your parents are coming from, have difficult conversations. Create a safe space for your friend, brother, or boyfriend to talk about it. This goes for both men and women.
A Video - Do Watch It
Some Interesting Tweets
Cool Stuff
A beautiful Podcast - Learn about Perception of Reaction 😎
Movie - Feminist ( watch the trailer)
Let’s Connect
If you want to connect with me and discuss entrepreneurship, innovation sprints, or anything related to the social impact, feel free to reach out on social platforms. 😊
It was tough to write this week’s letter 😶
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Wish You Well
With Love
Nainika.