Happiness Paradox
Job and adventure for happiness, insights of someone in her 20's and a lot more
Hey Reader 👋
It’s been a while since I published anything. I was busy chasing happiness only to realize that it was a mirage that society had taught me rather than what I really wanted.
I always dreamt of a perfect Resume with high scores, a good job, an MBA or a successful businesswoman, and I made plans for my entire life. If only it goes according to plan, life wouldn’t be worth living.
Decoded the Happiness Paradox in my three months journey. Please leave a note if you can relate to it.
Let’s get started🚀
Happiness Paradox
I was a believer in enjoying the process while achieving something, but I hardly practised and implemented it. I became a person who would be happy only when she achieved something. Soon, I found myself chasing everything. I ended up having some and getting rejected from others.
The Job - Insight
My life was on track, good job role on my resume and decent pay. I was slogging around the clock, have gone through unjust treatment by managers (an essential element of corporate), and then there will be movements to cherish.
I was still not happy. I wanted more. In the entire process, I stopped writing, smiling and wondering. I acted the way the world wanted me to.
Put your head down and work | Aisa hi hota hai corporate mein | Why you have to question things?| teri company thodi hai | chill maar, paise kama, so ja|
With the passage of time, you become a person you won’t even recognize in the mirror. Technically, you should be happy, but that’s exactly what you are not.
Good pay and learning become meaningless if you are treated badly and not heard at all in a job. Just Leave. Painful but rewarding at times.
How to overcome the paradox in your 20s?
No matter what, never compromise your values. Explore ideologies and the unknown but never do it because it is someone else’s normal.
Stand up against the wrong thing. It is the most courageous thing to do. It doesn’t mean you become a rebel; instead, learn to communicate and play the rule than the odds.
The Paradox of Adventure.
"Adventure is not something you find. Adventure is something you create." - Mark Twain
On the one hand, adventure can help us to break out of our comfort zones, experience new things, and challenge ourselves. These experiences can be incredibly rewarding and lead to a sense of well-being. Never do it for showing off ..please.
On the other hand, the pursuit of adventure can also be stressful and anxiety-inducing. We want it because we saw an Instagram reel with good background music. This stress can take a toll on our happiness and well-being.
So how can we balance the happiness benefits of adventure with the potential stress? Here are a few tips:
Start small. If you're new to the adventure, don't try to do too much too soon. Start with small challenges that you're confident you can handle. Take a small trek or explore the unknown in the city.
Set realistic goals. When you're setting goals for your adventures, make sure they're realistic and achievable, this avoids feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.
Focus on the journey, not the destination. The best part of the adventure is often the journey itself. So don't get so caught up in reaching your destination that you forget to enjoy the process.
Don’t do a thing if it doesn’t settle with your core because you are supposed to.
Finally- universal truth 👇
Award-winning painter, Georgia O'Keefe, suggests optimizing for your interests rather than your happiness:
"I do not like the idea of happiness — it is too momentary. I would say that I was always busy and interested in something — interest has more meaning to me than the idea of happiness."
Source: The Complete Correspondence of Georgia O’Keeffe & Anita Pollitzer
I am yet to explore the happiness paradox on the relationship front and other spheres of life like children and the government or perhaps taxes, but the above-mentioned are some personal insights.
Have Expectations {Credit- Farnam Street Blog}
Part two of Dr. Julie Gurner dropped this week, and like the first episode, she was a fountain of wisdom. Here are a few lightly edited insights that stood out in ep #2.
"A lot of people say, “If you want to be happy, don’t have expectations.” And I think that’s a really good way to be unhappy for the rest of your life because … if you don’t have expectations, you will just put up with everything. I mean, you don’t expect anything for yourself. With high expectations, with [a] kind of enforceability around that, you’re not going to put up with a bad relationship, a bad work environment, a bad employee, all of these types of things."
"If you are looking for a partner to build with, you’re going to look for different traits and qualities than somebody who just clocks in and clocks out."
"You have to care deeply to be able to challenge directly, and … somebody has to know that you care deeply about who they are in their role, that you care about their performance, that this is coming from a place that’s meant to make them better. And if it’s not coming from that place, and it’s coming from a place of punishing or shaming or humiliating or dominating, it’s not a really effective thing to do. But people can take hard feedback from people that they know are in their corner."
"We all have bad moments, bad minutes, bad hours, but we don’t have to have bad days."
Having expectation doesn’t mean someone or the world owes you something. It’s more like having non negotiable basic standards.
13 Min of Ultimate Wisdom
Quotes 🔉
“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, who am I?” - Hillel
“One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” - Bertrand Russel
“All of us waste precious life doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want.” - Ryan Holiday
“Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hit the💙 if you like this newsletter.
This newsletter will always be free, but I have spent a lot of time curating it. Could you support me by sharing it with people?
If you haven’t subscribed, then do it!!
Wish You Well
With Love
Nainika.
It was a really good blog. Keep encouraging us with your insightful thoughts 💙.